on being fifteen

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On the eve of my 16th birthday, I’m thinking a lot about fifteen and how you’re only one age once and how I wish it wasn’t that way.

One day when life has passed me by and I am some old woman wondering where my life went, I want to remember how it felt to be fifteen. I want to remember how it felt to wonder what the wide world could look like when explored. Still, I want to feel the fear of not living a fulfilled life or never falling in love or never leaving. Questions like ‘What are you going to do with your one life?’ are ones I want to never stop asking myself. I never want to look on knowledge and learning as something behind me, but something always ahead of me – always something more. Never in all my days, do I want something as a career to permanently define me, trapping me into ceasing to explore what life might have to offer. I never want to settle in a ‘settled’ state of mind, but constantly be asking and yearning like I am young and figuring out life all over again. I don’t want to lose the wonder as long as I live.

Oh, that my feet will never be stuck in one place and that I never forget what it is to be fifteen and young and stupid and afraid and dreaming.

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2 thoughts on “on being fifteen

  1. I love you-can’t wait to see what adventures you experience at 16! God gave you life and I am glad you like to live it fully!

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