Before I was a Christian, I adapted this idea of ‘running free’. It began one day at my Grandmother’s when I was randomly running up her yard. Just running is the most beautiful feeling in life. I realized I didn’t just want to take a slow walk through life, but live the full sensation of running in the way I lived.
What I didn’t know that day was it wouldn’t be until over a year later when I was saved that I learned to truly run free. I can’t describe that night in words, but I can say ‘run free’ was defiantly words that came out of my mouth several times.
What else I didn’t know that is my life would only pile up with guilt. What was happening to me is this: prior to my conversion, I weaved a chain of sin in my soul everyday. It only got heavy with evil thought. At the cross, Jesus born that chain. He ripped it apart when he defeated the grave. But in a way, even after my sin was gone, I held on. I sometimes still do. I think this thick chain of all the destruction thoughts and actions is mine. I don’t always get it.
I’d lie if I said it’s been easy to run free since my conversion. Lies and shame would overwhelm me. Self-images and fear of man would paralyze me. I’d feel lonely and apart so many times. I’d cry over stupid things and people. My heart would swim with unclean thoughts. I’d be self-righteous and I’d judge. I’d want to stop running with every mistakes I made. For the longest time I didn’t get it. I knew the Christian life wasn’t easy, but wasn’t the world the thing supposed to be the thing against me? Why was my sin and doubt only piling up?
The truth? I grasped these filthy garments and chains still, because the world dresses them up to be something to hurt me. I wasn’t being aware of the truth of the Gospel and really embracing what was done at the Cross. I didn’t realize those filthy chains aren’t mine.
It occurred to me one day during devotions. I still walk around with this burden that isn’t mine. At first I was ashamed of myself for all this, but then I realize my shame was another form of guilt I didn’t need. The point of the Gospel was not just about my past, but my present sin. He makes everything glorious and we are set free in Him, with our chains lifted from our backs.
The word’s I’ve been said in my mind again and again after that day, let go of those filthy chains and run free.
Everyday I am learning more of the Gospel; everyday my feet are running free.