I am so blessed to call these people my friends and for us to gather for worship nights together. We’re all different ages, we’re all going through different walks with God, we’re all learning trust in new ways but we can all gather and together sing hallelujah to the same Savior.
Last April I was going through a hard time with my walk with God. I was desperate for change and I doubted harder than I ever had since my Salvation. Psalm 55 really nailed the feeling I was going to bed with every single night:
My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me.
And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;
If I has wings, I would’ve flown far away from the hole I felt trapped in.
Yet, that summer God would revive my soul and the second part of the verse would also become a part of my story. You see, David didn’t end there. He didn’t just speak of desperation, longing, and pain. He also had confidence in his hard times:
But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon
I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.
He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage,
for many are arrayed against me.
It broke me. I realized that summer my weakness and His glory. I realized, no matter what path of life I would be thrown on I still have complete joy in the cross.
After this awakening, I desired more fellowship with my friends and I desired revival in the lives of our youth group.
My prayers were answered. God did so much more than I could have ever dreamed. He brought much change at last year’s retreat and He’s continued to provide. Our youth group’s been through a lot of change over this semester, but we’re all learning for faith to be all we lean on. We’ve been closer than ever before. I have no idea what is next but I am confident in my Lord and I know he will continue to work. Wherever God leads, I shall be certain these kind of times around the fire will always be a part of all of our stories.
Trust me. It’s not easy. The Christian life is a constant fight for happiness and doubt creeps up on me almost every day. But the Christian life isn’t about me and what trials come across, it’s only about God and He never changes therefore I can boldly have faith all the time.
He is indeed wonderful from worshiping with saints to showing me new truths of faith! How sweet it is to run free with absolute confidence in His faithfulness!