the shape of summer

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow fast in movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” – The Great Gatsby

Shown: The Last day of school, the golden summer days that followed, water balloons, and lots and lots of little faces.

Not Shown: A rainy afternoon in Starbucks, bucket loads of movie marathons, many nights of scribbling and working on my writing and poetry, random adventures with friends during the day, sleeping late, anticipation and preparation for the upcoming mission trip, long talks and looking to the stars, just being happy and hopeful, baking bread over and over, over-thinking and trying to make sense of the world but fantasizing and dreaming just the same, and watching kids while remembering my summer childhood that is captured in my heart like the dust from rocks on the playground that stays on your shoes all the way home.

Transfer | Day 3

I. The Worship

II. The Seaside Beauty

III. The Memories

Monday: Our last real day that wasn’t spent in a van. The Supreme pleasure of hearing C.J. Mahaney, Kevin DeYoung, and Sinclair Furgeson. Early morning devotions. Pizza Dinner from our Youth Pastor. Crazy beautiful memories.  I am still in awe, soaking in all the experiences, missing those times, being so blessed and thankful to being apart of Sovereign Grace. Mostly I’ve just been aware of  and so amazed by what the Lord has done. While I didn’t have great expectations because of everything changing in our youth group, God showed his truth again. As John Kitchen once said, “God never asks us to forsake one thing without asking us to embrace something much better.” Transfer was amazing; it was a lift from our roots but it placed in a place that none of us could fathom.

To Him, the one true God, be all the Glory forever and ever!

a world she sowed

She held a world,
Soaked into the edges of the leaky rowboat that her father owned,
Pressed into her Grandmother’s pies,
Scattered across empty highways during road trips,
Cried into the disappointments of lost opportunity,
Spilled with popcorn on movie theater floors,
Written across her ink-coated hands,
Worn through her elementary-school tennis shows,
Thrown across her Brother’s baseball fields,
Walked up the streets of Manhattan,
Stained with the coffee stains of the morning,
Spoke in the rare moments of complete silence,
Danced across the floor a many a times,
Lost on long bus rides,
Splashed into the lake on summer afternoons,
and ran up and down the floors of every place she called home.

The the world she sowed was a story that shined every moment as strong and fresh as she could remember. Her world was only known to her, but her heart left bits of it everywhere. For she scattered them them far, but sure as the tide returns–so did the feelings and memories.  All those bits, collected, would finish the puzzle of her world.

Transfer | Day 2

I. The Morning
‘

II. The Pool

III. The Games

IV. The Sessions

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” – Matthew 18:20 

I had a lot of thoughts as I woke up that day in Florida, but one of them wasn’t, “This day is going to change my life.” I had many expectations coming into this retreat, but I never thought that they would be greater than I could ever dream. There were so many beautiful things that day – the refreshing first dip in the pool of the summer, the beach breeze, the scenery, and  the echos of all the laughter. But none of those things compare to what we were able to see that night.

Mark Prater was preaching that night  and after hearing him a couple of times in the past, I was looking forward to it. He preached on God’s presence and the Spiritual gifts. They were things I’d heard preached on before but they’re impossible to hear without your soul stirring. Afterwards, he asked people to come up if they needed prayer. The entire room literally went to the front. Everyone found themselves praying for others, being prayed for, or placing their hands on other people being prayed for. Some prayed for spiritual gifts. Some prayed for numbness in their souls to be awakened.

I, personally, had been feeling empty lately. Previously during life and going into the retreat, God had been doing a work but I felt the lack of joy in all circumstances I knew I needed. I was disappointed by my lack of desire towards God’s word and this left me dry. All the things I have passion for – missions and evangelism especially – weren’t treated with the same excitement in my heart. When he spoke of this numbness, I knew I needed radical change in my life.

I went up there and was listening to another friend being prayed for when a girl I didn’t know came up and asked if she could pray for me. I told her what I was dealing with and she continued to pray for me just the way I needed. I didn’t ever know her name, but that girl prayed for me in exactly the way I most needed. My word for 2013 was ignite and that is exactly what happened to my soul – it caught on fire that night because through that prayer I was very aware of God’s continued work in my life even despite my dryness.

Even after the session ended, we all continued prayer for one another. Eventually, we all ended up outside in courtyard just talking of what God’s done. As I looked among those faces in the dark, I was aware of God’s faithfulness. Two years ago, I was a girl who was so shy she wouldn’t talk to anyone. I thought these people around me were strange. A year ago, they were my friends but our conversations were shallow and I still battled both shyness and anger towards my friendships. Yet there we were, praying for each other and talking about out struggles. What a God we serve!

And it was only half-way through the retreat! To be Continued….

Transfer | Day 1

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead” – Philippians 3: 13

On the 25th of May, we crammed into four van in the early morning. Day one was traveling all the way from Tennessee, through Georgia, and finally arriving down in Orlando. Boredom sunk in pretty deep, but laughter brought us through. I remember being slammed against a suitcase in the backseat of the van, thinking and praying in my heart. I had a knowing feeling God was going to do great things.

We arrived at 7 that night and somehow checked in by 7:30 when session one started. The first session was really good, taught by Jeff Purswell, despite the fact I was so tired that my bones hurt. I went to bed that night with a full heart.

The Transfer Conference was something I had mixed feelings about, considering it was replaced our normal retreat to the mountains but of course I soon became aware of my little faith in not trusting God about going. What I didn’t know as I walked into that building was that God wanted us there and knew exactly what he was doing  in bringing us to Florida this year.

It was the beginning of an adventure.

To be continued…